Written by DP Whitehead
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Thursday, 31 January 2013

image for Giant Rodent Infestation Causing Anxiety In Florida
Vermin!

A central Florida community has launched citizen patrols after reports that giant sized rodents had been spotted in several locations, striking fear into the hearts of townsfolk.

The first sighting of the massive rodent, which some described as 'hideously deformed' and 'strikingly horrific' occurred at noon Thursday when local resident Agatha Aitrium call 911, informing dispatchers that she had "nearly crapped herself" after encountering the gigantic creature outside of a local IHOP.

Reports indicate that the witness described the mammal as being over 8 feet tall, with a large head and protruding ears.

Several hours later a second 911 call was received claiming that a large and unidentified creature had been spotted close to the highway, resulting in the dispatch of several squad cars, a helicopter tactical response unit and a K9 unit.

Local sheriff Doug Partridge has asked residents to be vigilant.

"The creatures are over 8 feet tall, wearing black dinner jackets, red trousers and sport a yellow bow tie. We ask any citizens who have a firearm carry permit to shoot these critters on sight and not rely on law enforcement getting there quick enough to kill these beasts. This vermin must be eradicated before they populate our streets and boroughs and before we know it, we are overrun."

Worried citizens can call the Orlando Sheriff "Giant Mouse" Hotline on 1-800-MOUSE-KILL (1-800-66873-5455)to report sightings

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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