Following the death of Dear Abby columnist Abigail Van Buren on January 16th, the newspaper publishing group that owns the rights to the column has announced it will outsource the column to India.
Egregious Publishing Company CEO Sigmund Gizzard said the move is an effort to cut productions costs, and the new column will be written by Abha Chandramouleeswaran, a noted Indian advice columnist and Dell Computer customer service representative. The name will change to "Dear Abha."
"We're absolutely certain that the quality of the advice will remain the same and that readers will love Dear Abha," said Egregious spokesperson Lavitra Bleekert. She adds that Chandramouleeswaran has even promised to continue the "Dear Abby" tradition of printing her favorite prank letters on April Fools Day.