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Saturday, 26 January 2013

image for President Obama Pushes Glove Control Legislation
Banned Glove

Washington DC: White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced that President Obama has asked Congress not to pursue an assault weapons ban, but instead work on Glove Control legislation.

Many conservative Democrats and Republicans have a hard time with gun bans because the Second Amendment to the US Constitution empowers citizens "the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." However, there is nothing in the US Constitution about the right to wear gloves, such that the central theme of the president's new program will be Glove Control.

The proposed bill would ban the sale and manufacture of more than 100 types of gloves such as latex (includes condoms), rubber, fabric, kid, leather and liquid gloves, as well as gloves with military style features such as trigger finger holes. The legislation also bans gloves from holding more than 10 fingers. Surgeons, doctors, nurses and hospital workers are grandfathered in and can continue to purchase rubber and latex gloves from the federal government. Work gloves such as welder's gloves, catcher's mitts and children's mittens are unaffected.

Criminals would not have access to illegal gloves, thus anyone performing a criminal act (with or without firearms) would leave finger prints and DNA evidence at the scene of the crime. Law abiding citizens would have nothing to fear, since as part of the proposed legislation all 310 million Americans would be required to have their fingerprints and DNA on file in Washington DC!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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