Written by Ducksley
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Topics: arrest, Massage

Friday, 25 January 2013

Following a three month investigation, police today arrested a coin-operated mall massage chair for lewd conduct. The arrest followed a surveillance and sting operation at the Mall of Malls.

"We got numerous complaints, so we sent in one of our undercover officers. He put a dollar in the slot and got much more than just a massage," said police lieutenant Paolo Singh. He wouldn't comment on the type of illegal activity that took place.

Police identified the massage chair as an ElectroStroke Shiatsu 7000 and emphasized that other nearby massage chairs were not involved in the lewd activity.

A clerk at a nearby business said she wasn't surprised by the arrest.

"My store is directly across from the chairs and I see the same creepy guys returning to that same massage chair over and over. It's disgusting," said Cinnebon Assistant Manager Lotus Figwert.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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