Written by Ducksley
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Topics: Shopping, Malls

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Several hundred shoppers became disoriented inside a local shopping mall this afternoon, saying erroneous "You Are Here" arrows led them to believe they were there when they really weren't. The confused shoppers were later safely led out of the mall by firefighters and search and rescue teams.

LensCrafters clerk Fensil Pesperell said some shoppers wandered in circles while others walked into walls.

"I've never seen anything like it," said Pesperell, shaking his head. Shoppers blamed the "You Are Here" notations on the mall's directories, saying the maps and arrows are incorrect.

"The damned mall directory told me I was there, but I wasn't. I was somewhere else," said 65 year old Wendell Cripe. "It was a nightmare."

However, mall facilities manager Conrad Fustypug denied the signs were erroneous. "I personally checked the "You Are Here" arrow he claimed was wrong and found it to be correct--I was there."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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