Written by Ducksley
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Topics: Ikea, Swedish

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Neighbors of a local Ikea store say they've had enough. They're complaining that an influx of Swedish day laborers is making their lives miserable.

"They're out there as early as 6:00am with a carpenter's axe in hand, laughing loudly and chugging Bryggkaffee Mörkrost," complained Hyacinth Soapner, who lives across the street from the store.

"I tried to go to a different Ikea a few days ago to buy some Bumerang curved clothes hangers, but the guys were there, too. One of them approached me and asked me if I needed any boats built. I know they need a job, but It's really annoying." Soapner said she and her friends have switched to Bed, Bath and Beyond.

However, she admits, "I really do miss my Skorpor Fullkorn in the morning."

Simo Blomgren, Professor of Swedish Studies at the University of Perpetual Tuition, explained that Sweden is also experiencing high unemployment, causing many Swedes to travel to the U.S. in search of work.

"It's not just Ikea," Blomgren said, "I drove by a Volvo dealership the other day and there were so many out people hanging around out front it looked like an Abba concert."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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