Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 22 January 2013

image for Beyoncé only got to sing 'because she's Michelle's daughter' according to reports
Vice President Joe 'Citrus-Face' Biden

Washington AC/DC - "That's why Michelle was looking daggers at him during the Inauguration Lunch," Republican House Speaker John Boehner's shoe-shine boy commented today on the decision to cherry-pick popular entertainer Beyoncé Knowles to sing the Star Spangled Banner at yesterday's Inauguration.

"Reckon they should DNA test all of them to see just what kinda chemistry's really lurking there."

Throughout Monday's meal Mrs Obama 'looked like she'd been sucking lemons'** as a glacial Freud-err -er...froideur! - erupted into a full-blown snubbing avalanche between the First Lady and the House of Representatives Speaker.

Boehner's small-talk did little to fire Michelle's famous pilot light despite an unbearably smug look on her face during the singer's 'extraordinary' rendition of the American National Anthem earlier.

But all that inaugural body language has stirred up the ever-churning US rumor mill with much speculation about Knowles' real paternity.

"Beyoncé Knowles probably isn't John Boehner's daughter," the social editor of iconic celebwatch site LA FagHagSlagMag.con said today, "we reckon it's either Al Gore or John Kerry that got it up for Michelle all those years ago.

"Wanna see pix of Obama's first wife before plastic surgery?"

**[no offense, Joe 'Citrus-Face' Biden, eh?]

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