Good ole' boy Lee Perkins, card carrying member of the NRA and secret cross dresser, claims he is sick and tired of folk telling him that mans best friend is a dog, despite he himself owning several well trained, obedient and loyal canines.
"It is utter rubbish" chirped the 27 year old truck driver "I should know, I have dogs, mainly hunting dogs and I assure you not one of them is my best friend and to say that my best friend is a dog is madness, utter and complete madness!"
When pushed to clarify his statement Perkins shook his head, removed his baseball cap, wiped his brow and then shook his head in disbelief.
"Look, my best friend is Larry Mugglefrasper IV, and he is nothing like a dog...if anything he is more like a hog, or a rat, kind of like a 'rat-hog-man' absolutely nothing like a dog. Who comes up with this crazy stuff anyway? Liberals?"