Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 20 January 2013

image for New York Mob Boss Talks About Gun Control
Sal cherishes a revolver that he was given by John Gotti. (Photo courtesy of Sal's father Pirandello Goombalini).

BROOKLYN - Salvatore Goombalini, head of the notorious Goombalini Family, has stated his opinion on gun control.

The mafioso whose business card reads: Goombalini's Restaurant Supplies, commented to Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magazine that he is more than qualified to talk on the subject.

Sal The Pizzaman as he is known is the oldest of ten brothers and all of them are involved in the family's restaurant supply business.

Salvatore boasts that his business is such a lucrative one that he recently purchased an $18 million estate, Casa Goombalini, which is located just outside of Poughkeepsie, New York.

He pointed out that it was a birthday present for his wonderfully patient, caring, considerate, and devoted wife Carlotta.

Sal said that Carlotta makes the best Fettuccine Alfredo on both sides of the Mississippi. He proudly divulged that her secret recipe has won her The Best Italian Dish Contest on the entire East Coast for the past 17 years in a row.

When he was asked by Mr. Petaluma about his feelings on gun control Sal raised his eyebrows. He took a bite out of his pepperoni, sausage, and mushroom pizza and replied that he has been around guns ever since he was just 7 months old when his beloved mother Annunciata Goombalini first taught him how to fire a .22 pistol.

He was quick to note that the saying that guns don't kill people - that people kill people is not exactly true.

He proved this by saying that in all his years as a member of the Goombalini crime syndicate that he has never once seen a .38 special, or a Glock 9, or an AK-47 returned to its rightful owner.

SIDENOTE: Salvatore Goombalini has personally emailed President Obama and told him that if he decides to go ahead and ban automatic assault rifles that he and his nine brothers plus the entire membership of their mob family will help him to implement his program.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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