Written by M Scarlet
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Friday, 18 January 2013

Everyone knows that I'm an extreme conservative. I'm the type of Conservative who has God sanctioned missionary style sex with my wife while thinking about Ronald Reagan.

Today's hero of Freedom is Kentucky Senator Rand Paul. Rand is the son of former Presidential hopeful and part time Gollum impersonator Ron Paul.

Rand Paul's speech at the CBN Jerusalem Bureau moved me in ways I thought only extra fiber oatmeal and coffee could, "I'm against having a king. I think having a monarch is what we fought the American Revolution over, and someone who wants to bypass the Constitution, bypass Congress. That's someone who wants to act like a king."

Senator Paul was responding to a suggestion by the Obama administration that it might use an executive order if it doesn't get the gun control regulations it wants. Rand and I both know executive orders are just another way for the President to wield the mighty scepter of law without Congresses' permission. You might ask yourself, "Didn't my political science teacher say that Executive orders are just enforcement or interpretations of federal statutes? Aren't those statutes created by the legislative branch?"

First off, you were drunk. So, you probably don't remember things clearly. Secondly, yea Congress does create the federal statutes. But, we know that the legislature is mostly a group of misbehaving fourth graders. Who would trust them to come up with laws?

Just like his son wouldn't board an airplane without a fight, Senator Paul has committed to fight this menace in the Senate. He's not going to let King Obama go uncontested. His only hope is to unite likeminded senators and representative to stop the order. With people who are as reasonable, organized and responsive as the United States House and Senate how can Rand Paul fail?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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