Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Flying, FAA, Boeing, Jets

Thursday, 17 January 2013

image for The FAA Grounds All Boeing 787s
The new Air Force One is the only Boeing 787 that is allowed to keep flying. (Photo taken by Malia Obama).

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Aviation Administration has just issued an order that will officially ground all brand new Boeing 787 jetliners immediately.

Lupita Chuffovich, 27, spokesperson for the FAA stated that extremely stringent inspections have found several issues with the state-of-the-art aircraft known as the Dreamliner.

Miss Chuffovich noted that some of these matters include a fundamental problem with the jet's synchronized logistical contingency apparatus which if not fixed could cause the plane to shake uncontrollably like a 1950s washing machine while sitting on the runway.

Another issue involves the seat belt which if rubbed against a particular type of clothing fiber could cause some sparks that could ignite the mini-packages of peanuts and pretzels.

One of the designers of the 787, Bernard S. Mittenbocker, 73, told the FAA that there are six other problems with the plane but that they are so insignificant that he will not even bother to bring them up for fear of causing a semi-panic among the flying public

In Other News. The word out of Tinsel Town is that Taylor Swift told Jennifer Lawrence, the star of Silver Linings Playbook that she would like to meet Bradley Cooper. Cooper reportedly told Jennifer to tell Miss Swift that he does not care to be one of her future songs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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