WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Aviation Administration has just issued an order that will officially ground all brand new Boeing 787 jetliners immediately.
Lupita Chuffovich, 27, spokesperson for the FAA stated that extremely stringent inspections have found several issues with the state-of-the-art aircraft known as the Dreamliner.
Miss Chuffovich noted that some of these matters include a fundamental problem with the jet's synchronized logistical contingency apparatus which if not fixed could cause the plane to shake uncontrollably like a 1950s washing machine while sitting on the runway.
Another issue involves the seat belt which if rubbed against a particular type of clothing fiber could cause some sparks that could ignite the mini-packages of peanuts and pretzels.
One of the designers of the 787, Bernard S. Mittenbocker, 73, told the FAA that there are six other problems with the plane but that they are so insignificant that he will not even bother to bring them up for fear of causing a semi-panic among the flying public
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