Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Wednesday, 16 January 2013

image for Mayan Doomsday Update: Five More Days To Kiss Your Ass Goodbye
Kiss Your Ass Goodbye

BILLINGSGATE POST - High Chief Hokum, the official Mayan doomsday spokesperson who earlier granted the world a 30 day reprieve from the December 21 apocalyptic ending, said today that it is time for everyone to practice "grabbing your ankles, putting your head between your legs and kissing your ass goodbye."

Chief Hokum, speaking from his reinforced concrete shelter deep in the Yucatan tropical forest, acknowledged to reporters that because of the discrepancy between the Mayan and Gregorian calenders regarding leap year, he was forced to make an unprecedented adjustment as to when the world would end.

Advised that Las Vegas bookmakers were making the "over/under" on his newest prediction 365 days, he sputtered, "F..k the bookies." With his eyes narrowing to slits, he reminded the skeptics that the bookies also picked Denver over the Ravens.

As with his last meeting in December, he ended this discussion with the following: "Hecha annualis prevaricatus."


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