Written by Ducksley
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Topics: roadkill, coupons

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

The next time you spot a dead animal in the roadway, you might want to stop and pick it up rather than just driving on by.

Highway department officials today announced a new plan to insert discount coupons for restaurants, theaters, salons and retailers inside roadkill.

"We believe drivers will stop and pick up dead animals in the hopes that there might be a money-saving coupon inside," said highway department administrator Bernie O'Chang. "It'll sure save us money by not having to pick up and dispose of as much roadkill."

Hair salon owner Peaches Findleweimer said she jumped on board as soon as she heard about the program. "I think it's great. I bought 200 coupons for discount perms for placement inside dead raccoons. For the same price I could have had 300 skunk coupons, but most people won't stop for a dead skunk," she said, smiling wistfully.

Highway department administrator O'Chang emphasized that motorists should remove the coupons and not take the dead animal to the business or retailer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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