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Tuesday, 15 January 2013

image for NASA blow-up dolls for inflatable space station module
Earlier prototype design modeled on ex-NASA Capt Lisa Nowak

Pasadena, Ca - "Just a couple of big breaths should get these babes going," the head of NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory said today, "so long as you don't have an allergy to rubber or speak with a lithp - er...lisp!"

News of the delivery was welcomed by astronauts aboard the International Space Station after some of the crew had spent the recent festive season in quarantine following an outbreak of space station blue balls.

Although design specifics remain top secret it's rumored the blow-up latex lovelies have been modeled to resemble various famous American women's best features.

"Think Lady Gaga's lips, Selena Gomez's boobs, Michelle Obama's ass and Kim Kardashian's legs," the spokesperson added, "although not necessarily in that order."

A gay version molded from a Texan waxworks museum's Justin Bieber retreads may also be in the pipeline.

Delivery is expected by Valentine's Day February 14th along with the space station's very own inflatable private nodule - module! - described by space designers as 'a relatively hard, roughly spherical abnormal structure'.

The latex dolls are likely to come in situ in the padded expandable habitat which has been constructed following a $17.8 million NASA deal with the Bald Knob, Arkansas-based private spaceflight firm Gigolo Aerospace.

An automatic sprinkler system to hose down the inflatable room in the event of fire or bodily accidents is also under consideration.

Other components of the company's Expandable Activity Module are currently being customized at its Beaver Lick, Kentucky plant ahead of final assembly in Arkansas.

It is hoped that the addition of the blow-up dolls and the inflatable 'shagging room' will avert any 2007 copycat mayhem when former ISS astronaut Capt Lisa Nowak was prosecuted for trashing the station during a love-triangle feud with Colleen Shipman and Commander Bill Old-Feline.

Officials found kinky sex hardware items during a random search of Nowak's International Space Station locker including a 'blue ice' machine for bombing passing asteroids and suspected alien UFOs.

Her 'Not Guilty' plea to attempted kidnapping, burglary with assault and battery was subsequent shot down by a jury which recommended living standards improvements aboard the lonesome and isolated station.

Buzz Aldrin is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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