Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 January 2013

image for Arkansas Orders All Full Frontal Female Nudity Men's Magazines Burned
The Pexley brothers Josh (L) and Gosh (R) of Hot Springs looking at a copy of PlayBuddy Magazine.

LITTLE ROCK - Several Arkansas citizens action groups have threatened to protest in the nude in order to bring attention to the out-of-control publication and distribution of X-rated men's magazines showing full frontal female nudity.

Mavis Loretta Moodweather, 51, of nearby Sherwood, heads a group known as Arkansas Citizens Against Full Frontal Female Nudity Magazines and she made the statement in front of a local Captain Cluckity Cluck Cluck's Chicken Shack in the state's capital.

Mavis Loretta, who stands 5-foot-2-inches tall and weighs 214 pounds was dressed in what has got to be the biggest pair of Daisy Duke short shorts in the entire south.

A reporter for Hollywood Innuendo, Ty Tickler, remarked that Moodweather certainly had to have made the short shorts herself or else she had someone else sew them because they were utterly humongous.

Moodweather's old maid sister, Josephine Belle Swillbonnet, 49, who is the same height as her sister but weighs 219 pounds was wearing the exact same type of short shorts.

When she was asked who made the short shorts she replied angrily, "You're mama!"

Tickler told Miss Swillbonnet that he can clearly see that she has never married because she's about as big as a damn Tournament of Roses Parade float.

The Hollywood reporter noted that the reason why the state of Arkansas has ordered all full frontal female nudity magazines burned is because they don't want single Arkansas males to see that some of their perspective wives leave a lot to be desired.

So they figure that by burning all men's magazines that showcase female full frontal nudity, it will not cause a decrease in revenue due to the decline in marriage licenses being sold in the state.

STATE NOTE: Recent studies show that Arkansas is ranked 43rd in overweight women and 9th in overweight men.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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