Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Senate, Iowa, Kissing, Tongue

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

image for Iowa Bans Tongue Wrestling
Iowa is proud of its fabulous corn crop but it will not put up with tongue wrestling.

DES MOINES - The senate of the state of Iowa has finally passed a bill that was first proposed two months ago.

State Senator Claudette Cora Wonderwillow, 53, of Sioux City, introduced the bill which is listed as TW Bill 01 (Tongue Wrestling Bill 01).

Senator Wonderwillow, who recently got divorced after being married for 31 years, was instrumental in getting the bill approved and had vowed to see it pass or else she declared that she would seriously consider moving to New Hampshire, where tongue wrestling was outlawed back on May 13, 2011.

TW Bill 01 had virtually no opposition except for Senator's Hester Peggy Goldenhouse, 47, of Ottumwa, and Baumgartner Tockstock, 38, of Oskaloosa, who according to Senator Wonderwillow are rumored to be having a very private intimate affair.

The Iowa Senate sent out a press release stating that they wanted it known that their state was not going to be putting up with any promiscuous antics [i.e. tongue wrestling] that West Coast states like California, Nevada, and Washington condone.

The release went on to state that anyone caught tongue wrestling in the Hawkeye State will be fined up to $4,700 and could receive a three day jail sentence.

SIDENOTE: When asked why the state was so obsessed with outlawing tongue wrestling Senator Wonderwillow stated, "Because we are sick and tired of being sick and tired from all the germs that visitors, mostly from California, bring to our state due to their infatuation with one of the most lasciviously lewd acts known to man; namely tongue wrestling."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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