Written by Ducksley
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Topics: Health, employment

Saturday, 12 January 2013

"I'm working 70 hours a week and have no time to work out, yet my worthless, unemployed neighbor looks like Mr. Universe. It's not fair," grumbled 36-year-old electrical engineer Angus Pasternak. "Ever since he was laid off, he does nothing but jog and work out on his Bowflex. It really ticks me off."

The concern over the contrast in fitness levels between the employed and unemployed has also reached the highest levels of government. At a press conference yesterday, outgoing U.S. Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis noted, "It's a fairness issue. The majority of our workforce is out there doing the right thing-working long hours in stressful jobs, not working out and eating junk food. The unemployed have too much time to exercise and that needs to change before we become a nation of abs and ab-nots."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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