BILLINGSGATE POST - Frank Frick of Odessa, Texas, an oil-rig worker, claims that his work as a pipe fitter on a fracking drilling rig caused him an embarrassing 4 hour erection that required him to be air-lifted to an emergency center.
Frick, who stated that he had been constantly fracking since early pubescence, admitted that he was a "frackoholic." Fracking, said Frick, was in his blood. His father, Ford, died in his early 50's of fracking. His mother, Favorite Frick, is still alive and believes she was saved from an early death when Ford Frick fracked out during his final fling with Favorite, right in the middle of a horizontal deviation that went well beyond the vertical thrust of pre-fracking drilling.
In a statement to the Odessa Driller, she said that all Ford wanted to do when he got home from work was frack. "It was frack this and frack that. Even our dog, Fido Frick, was afraid to turn his back on Ford for fear he would frack him in the pooper."
Frank Frick, he with the 4 hour erection, was advised by his physician to either give up fracking or find another job. In other words, Frank Frick was warned that if he continues to frack, he will follow his father Ford's footsteps to fracking Hell.
Fracking be bad.