Philadelphia, PA-- The youngest person ever to live has been discovered in the City of Brotherly Love. Miss Jane Doe was officially documented to be only one-second old shortly after her birth this morning at the University of Pencilvainia Hospital. Her parents were informed of Jane's achievement and they were as astonished as everyone else.
"We are just so proud of Jane! She will go down in history!" exclaimed John Doe, the father of the little record breaker.
Being extremely young seems to run in the Doe family. John Doe claims his father was once only five minutes old, although nobody has any proof. Jane Doe's paternal great-grandmother was also supposed to be four days old at some point in the 19th Century.
Baby Jane Doe may find her fame to be fleeting. Almost 14,000 babies were born in the first hour of Jane's life. All of them shattered Jane's record for being the youngest human on Earth.
"Soon, our daughter will be one-day old." said a disappointed John Doe. "It seems youth and fame never last very long."