WASHINGTON, DC -- Up on capital hill this week, talks have subsided, and action is pending to release several hundred thousand square acres of land to the global public early next year. Provided that the residents of the northern United States do not protest the reallocation with an unforeseen rebellion. This proposed bill would unite Canada, with some pointless or wasted states such as North Dakota and Michigan, who have never really felt they belong here in the USA.
Senator J. J. McGavin from his home said, "The only thing we have got to loose, is being left. After that I am the last thing this country needs." As it is not quite certain what the senator meant by his words, he bid a fond good-bye and wobbly carried himself out near the back woods, where he was later found reading a strange hermit book, 'Walden' written by a lackluster, mock anti-socialite Henry David Thoreau some 150 years ago.
"I don't think this film will play very well on my stove top," commented Patty Ramsey, whose inspiration has lead this continent to 3 Intercontinental Championship rings, but not for any known or playable sport.