Written by rfreed
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: NRA

Thursday, 27 December 2012

image for Siege Of NRA Headquarters By Outraged Citizens Enters Its Second Day

The siege at the NRA Headquarters has entered its second day.

Irate citizens, sickened by the NRA's constant arrogant promotion of guns of mass destruction in society especially in the wake of the child shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School, have repeatedly attacked the facility using suicide bombs and mortars. Interestingly they have not been using the assault rifles and hardcore guns that the NRA is famous for insisting on fronting for arms dealers. Instead, they have decided to vent their feelings Iraqi style.

The assault on the NRA Headquarters began yesterday when Chester Lonefield, a Philadelphia man who has lost a daughter to a school shooting with an assault rifle, a mother to a drive-by shooting and a cousin to a murder with an illegal handgun, walked into the lobby of the NRA and triggered a bomb attached to his chest detonating it and taking out everyone in the vicinity including himself in the blast. A series of similar bombings continues in what appears to be an organized assault on the infamous lobbying organization. The perpetrators often yell "Here's some mass destruction coming back at ya!" and "If it is OK for you it is OK for us!" They are apparently tired of the NRA's manipulation of American laws and heavy handed influence on Washington politics regarding guns.

Coordinated mortar rounds, bombs and grenades were soon thrown at the building from its perimeter. NRA personnel, all carrying handguns, soon returned fire. Casualties on both sides appears to be high. Many of the injured and dead inside the building seem to be hit by fellow NRAers. The attackers seem to be so angry that the return fire is not diminishing their quest to vent on the NRA.

Police and FBI agents, long a target of nutcases with assault weapons and guns of mass destruction, have cordoned off the area, but do not seem to be lifting a finger to stop the attack. In fact, they seem to be allowing the insurgents to pass through their perimeter for replenishing their forces and bombs. There is even talk of a local police force lending them a helicopter to help get the situation to a quicker finish.

A phone call for help was recorded by a Police dispatcher and released to the public. On it the CEO Wayne LaPierre pleaded for help in the attack: "We are being besieged by American terrorists who are attacking us with bombs! These should not be allowed! They should be banned in the first place! How can any normal citizen deal with such a device that can kill and maim so many! You must help us! These people must be some sort of bomb nuts!" To this the Police dispatcher can be heard snorting and saying "Now you know how we feel a lot of times!" A second officer cam on the air asking LaPierre "Aren't you the same fella who called us 'jack-booted government thugs' who wear 'Nazi bucket helmets and black storm trooper uniforms.'?? There was a long silence at the other end of the line, then a click as he hung up.

More news as we make it up.

Make rfreed's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

2 17 3 1

Go to top