New York - US oil tycoons finally have Barack Obama over a barrel of sweet light crude ahead of next week's fiscal cliff fisting contest to frack out lucrative inner core gases and save the President's budgetary ass.
"Got him by the short 'n' curlies in the Ecuador scam," Carnegie Hill plutocrat Dr Ivor Hunch chuckled into his vintage Bolly tonight.
"Mostly hand-jobs from Rafael Correa but the 3D footage sure would look good to a Grand Jury hearing."
That festive cheer prevails across the Big Oil spectrum amid widely reported Liberal delusions of a Presidential raid on gas and oil majors' staggering multi-billion dollar nest eggs to balance the nightmare national account.
"Just who really runs the country, Mr President?" Dr Hunch continued, a prescient $100+ per barrel smile lighting up his face.
"Smart money's on those who sign them Big Oil deposit checks, own all the super majors' drilling concessions and got you figured for a lowdown thieving rat."
The Fiscal Cliff like the Mayan Calendar Doomsday Prophecy is a load of Scareforce One PR hype.