Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 21 December 2012

image for Fiscal Cliff to be twinned with Beachy Head
The Marie Celeste sailing past Beachy Head near Dover, UK

Washington - US Treasury officials are querying plans to twin the much dreaded 'fiscal cliff' with a notorious UK chalk headland formed during the last Cretinaceous Period.

Beachy Head on the Southern English coast is one of the world's most notorious suicide spots and features in the disappearance of some of the UK's worst rogues including Lord Lucan and 1982 Epsom Derby winner Shergar.

Last year the hexed site out-topped all the planet's other treacherous suicide sites including San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge, Japan's Aokigahara Woods and Archway Viaduct in North London, UK.

The twinning proposal by Eastbourne Borough Council is being studied by the US Treasury.

It is looking closely at reports that the last ever shareholders' meeting of the bankrupted US bank Lemon - er...Lehman! - Brothers took place in the Last Chance saloon bar at the beauty spot's Precipice Hotel.

Enron's Clifford Baxter was also a regular visitor at the hotel's Presidential suite before his notorious two-bullet suicide in 2002.

And Whitewater/White House Travel Orifice fiasco fall guy Vince Foster reputedly once played Russian Roulette at the establishment's casino just weeks before being found 'suicided' in a Sugar Land, Texas parking lot.

Commenting on the plan House Speaker John Boehner said 'WTF?'

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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