Written by cherio_056
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Topics: trampoline

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Over the past weekend, little Suzy Jones of Springfield, Maryland received the best present she could ever imagine- a trampoline!

After her parents finally let her open her trampoline she began bouncing up and down. She was giggling, smiling, and yelling at her parents to watch. It was at that point Suzy's father, Carl Jones, tired of watching his daughter only jump up and down, encouraged her to do a flip. Not knowing or even slightly believing she would be able to accomplish this, little Suzy set herself up to do a flip, and quickly found herself in a cycle that was composed of 57 back flips.

"It was awe-inspiring and shocking at the same time," says Carl. "I just couldn't believe my eyes. At around flip 22 I began to worry that she would never stop, but then we heard her giggle and I knew she was okay." According to other sources, the giggling that little Suzy was realizing could be heard four blocks away and dogs were barking at least seven blocks away.

As little Suzy was twirling through the air like a ballerina stuck doing pirouettes, neighbors quickly came over, mostly out of anger and fear, to see what her parents were yelling about. The small backyard of the Jones family was full of onlookers and spectators trying to get a glimpse of the girl doing back flips.

Jim Cook, one of the neighbors, had this to say about Saturday's events: "I just couldn't believe it. I'd never seen anything like it before. There is no other word for it than amazing."

Cook, who has lived next to the Joneses for 7 years, said that he never really expected much out of little Suzy. "She always seemed lackluster. Hadn't ever done much of note. At least not until now."

Suzy Jones has never done much to separate herself from the pack until now. She is an average student. No former teachers were available for comment, which only dictates the question: do they even remember her? She struck out almost every time she was up to bat this past season for her little league team, The Purple Cheetahs, which isn't even a real animal. She couldn't even sing her ABC's until she was three without skipping over the letter 'n' and 'u'.

According to the National Trampoline Back Flip Association (NTBFA), the previous record for the number of back flips was 47, which clearly makes little Suzy the current record holder. At least she will now have something of note to tell her grandchildren one day.

After the day's events little Suzy could only muster these words: "I do again."

Can you little Suzy? Can you do it again? This reporter will truly be in shock and awe if little Suzy ever does it again, but then again, I've been proven wrong before. Best of luck little Suzy, you're going to need more of it than the Brave Little Toaster did.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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