BILLINGSGATE POST: The ancient Mayans only surviving doomsday predictor gave the world a brief reprieve today when High Chief Hokum announced from his office in the Yucatan that due to a conflict with the Gregorian Calendar, the end of the world has been extended 31 days so that it coincides with the inauguration of President Barack Hussein Obama.
Declaring that when he helped make the original calendar that was due to expire on December 21, 2012, Mayans had no concept of leap year. Chief Hokum explained that 5000 years ago, "leap year" had a totally different meaning; that was the year Mayan high priests made undesirables jump into a volcano to offer sacrifice to the gods.
With the advent of the Gregorian calender introduced in 1582 by Pope Gregory XIII as a revision of the Julian calendar and marked by the suppression of 10 days or after 1700, 11 days, and the restriction that only those centesimal years divisable by 400 should be leap years, High Chief Hokum blamed his mistake on "new math."
Declaring that the revision has nothing to do with FOX NEWS pressure, Hokum says, "that it is just a coincidence that the world will end on January 21. "Hecha annualis prevaricatus." Translated: The calender don't lie.