Written by HaveIGotNewsForYou
Print this

Sunday, 16 December 2012

image for American Media Already Prepare Profile Of Next Mass Shooter
Broken...Completely and Utterly Broken

US news media outlets are already preparing draft descriptions of future mass murderers based on previous descriptions of all former mass killers.

"I can't believe it, they were such a normal family" has already been earmarked as one potential leader, which has been quoted 43 times previously by friends and neighbors of killers such as the Colombine High School killers and John Lennon murderer, Mark Chapman.

Other comments, which are bound to be made are:

"I am shocked - he/she was so quiet"

"I would never have dreamed he/she would do such a thing"

"He/she never ever displayed any sort of psychotic tendencies"

"He/she was such a polite man/woman/boy/girl....I used to see him/her walking his dog"

"He/she never showed any interest in weapons. This is so out of character"

As America once again shakes it's head and asks why, and vigils are held for dead innocent children, gun sales rocket, NRA supporting Fox News exploits grieving families and the Hunger Games remains this years biggest selling DVD.

Make HaveIGotNewsForYou's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 4?

9 8 6 20
70 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more