Written by mikewadestr
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Wednesday, 12 December 2012

image for "Divorce" and "Why is that Guy's Hand up Elmo's Butt?" are new Sesame Street Subjects
These adults themes are driving me to drink.

This sure isn't your two dads' or two moms' Sesame Street. The show has decided to start tackling tough subjects like divorce, pedophilia and how to properly water down your parent's liquor so they don't notice that you've been imbibing. And that is just for starters.

The Street will start with a special on the 'D' word which is 'Divorce'. A slew of new characters have been introduced to the show with the main three being Mr. and Mrs. Smith-Anne-Wesson and Humpty Dumpty who will be portrayed in a conglomeration of shorts which depict various scenarios that lead to the Smith's becoming divorced.

In each short both Smiths will be happily married by depicting them both hugging humpty dumpty. As the short continues one of the Smiths will start taking Humpty Dumpty out of the house to various bars, motels and stranger's houses for a mutual hug with someone who isn't Mr. or Mrs. Smith. The skit gets very exciting when the spouse returns home with another new character Hanky-Panky instead of Humpty Dumpty. Hanky-Panky is a real ass hole who tells the other spouse just exactly what transpired that evening and why Humpty Dumpty has found a new home.

The 'D' word or should I say 'D' words would immediately start flying out of the mouths of both spouses as well as the 'F' word the 'J' word, the 'C' word and so forth.

The 'MF' word, amazingly, will not be spoken at all which is kind of strange considering any man having sex with a woman with kids is an 'MF'.

In some shorts, Mrs. Smith will be visited at home while her husband is at work, by several characters all bearing their own Humpty Dumpty and going by the names of Air Conditioner Man, Mailman, Fed-Ex Man and the Big Banana Man.

Sesame Street did, belatedly attempt to tackle the subject of pedophilia by showing that some people like Elmo smile when someone puts their hand up their butt while others, like Oscar the Grouch look absolutely miserable. Unfortunately the reaction by the kids in the audience was confusion which caused Sesame Street to drop the idea and instead have a whole bunch of Humpty Dumpty's hugging each other and dancing to a Justin Bieber song.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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