Written by Aspartame Boy
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Topics: China, School, Aspartame, gold

Saturday, 8 December 2012

image for High school student manufactures gold from lead
Lanny flunked chemistry class

Golden, CO - From a town named Golden comes a discovery that is about to make the precious metal as cheap as lead. Apple Creek High School student Lanny Auris has developed a cheap process to make gold from lead, in his basement using only common household items.

Lanny developed this process for a science fair to be held at the high school in the Spring. When contacted, Lanny was not sharing the details of the process. There is only one drawback to the process that Lanny did reveal, however. One of the waste products of the process is aspartame, a deadly poison soon to be banned by the EPA.

When contacted, the Chinese embassy was furiously trying to sell their vast gold holdings and would not comment on the discovery.

Lanny has cashed in 1 billion dollars in gold, which he hopes will pay for his college education.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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