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Friday, 30 November 2012

image for Britney Spears won't eat Pork
A mouse who tasted the pork chops Britney Spears had tossed into her yard.

Britney Spears panicked when she saw her six foot body guard pass out at her dinner table after he ate homemade pork chops prepared by Spears.

Britney Spears was not affected because she was eating Salmon fish at the time.

Doctors at the hospital discovered that the body guard had ingested various types of super bacteria that are resistant to antibiotics and are exclusively found in pork meat. The pork chops also contained flesh eating bacteria.

After watching her body guard slip into a coma, Spears told reporters that she would never eat pork again because it would contaminate her home with these super bugs.

Pork samples from around the United States contained super bacteria that cause food-borne illnesses and are resistant to antibiotic treatment, according to a new analysis by Consumer Reports.

According to the analysis, nearly 70 percent of pork chops and ground pork sampled contained bacteria that cause entero-colitis, which infects about 100,000 Americans each year. They also found salmonella and staphylococcus bacteria in many of the samples.

"Some of the bacteria we found in 198 samples proved to be resistant to antibiotics commonly used to treat people," according to the analysis.

Antibiotic-resistant bacteria infecting pork meat was found in 37 states earlier this year.

Scientists confirmed that a resistant strain of the Staphylococcus aureus that mainly infects farmers developed its resistance from antibiotics used to raise livestock.

At the time, Lance Price, who wrote about Staphylococcus resistance in the journal mBio, said the agricultural industry has to stop using antibiotics as a method to increase the size of pigs.

Farmers are purposely injecting pork with three different types of antibiotics to stimulate the growth hormones of pigs and the treatments don't have anything to do with keeping the pigs healthy.

Beef, chicken, and fish are a safer alternative to pork said one expert in livestock farming.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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