Plymouth, MA-- An exciting new historical theory is giving Americans a new look at Thanksgiving. Historians now believe that the Pilgrims and Indians used 'tons' of ganja together. The green herb was in everything from the turkey stuffing to the apple pie.
The Pilgrims planted hemp as soon as they arrived in the New World. They only planted it for making clothes and had no idea it could be smoked for pleasure. The Indians they encountered were happy to teach them how to smoke the weed instead.
The Pilgrims were excellent farmers and harvested a remarkably strong crop of marijuana their first year. The marijuana plants were dozens of feet tall and covered with thick buds. The aroma of fresh weed oozing oil and resin covered the Pilgrims' farmland.
The Indians smelled the nice weed and arrived at harvest. They taught the Pilgrims how to cook with weed, how to make bongs out of pumpkin shells, and finally how to smoke weed.
The Pilgrims and the Indians gorged themselves on their marijuana feast. Cannabis was in everything they ate--from the marijuana soup to the cannabis flavored after dinner mints.
The party really started after dinner. The Pilgrims and Indians smoked weed for hours. The peace pipe burned the entire night with weed. Someone had an idea to invent popcorn, and all the Pilgrims and Indians munched-out some more.
"Thank-you Lord, for weed." mumbled a stoned Pilgrim. "Happy Thanksgiving...or whatever." said the Pilgrim before passing out.