Philadelphia, PA-- A very nervous new barber cut off the left ear of his very first customer by mistake. Sources say Tony Baloney sliced off the ear of an unidentified middle aged man last month. No charges are expected to be filed in the surreal case.
Tony Baloney wanted everything to go smoothly on his first day as a new barber. He sharpened all his razor blades and scissors as much as possible and tried not to be so afraid.
When his first customer sat down in the barber chair, Tony was a nervous wreck. Somehow he mixed up the comb with the straight razor. As he began to comb the customer's hair, Tony accidentally cut off the man's ear.
The next few moments were like some bizarre dream to Tony. He remembers seeing the ear fall on the floor and bounce just a little bit. He remembers picking up the ear, finding a tube of glue and then gluing the ear back on. The whole thing took about five seconds.
There wasn't much blood and Tony cleaned it up without anyone noticing. The middle-aged customer paid for the haircut and then left the barber shop, apparently without realizing what happened.
Tony knew there would be trouble, and imagined all sorts of things. He thought the customer would call the police and have him arrested. He thought the customer would come back and shoot him. He thought the customer may have bled to death, and Tony would be charged with murder.
Nothing happened the rest of the day. Days went by, and there were still no complaints from the customer. Tony began to relax and to put the horrible incident out of his mind.
"Maybe it was all just a bad dream." Tony thought to himself.
Today, the middle aged customer returned to the barber shop. He saw Tony and began to speak in a friendly voice:
"Just wanted to compliment you on the haircut you gave me last time. My ears were always uneven and somehow you managed to straighten them out!"