Washington DC - In an odd bit of leakage from the side that lost the election, it has been revealed how Mitt will win the 2016 election.
His new spokesperson, the deaf, dumb, and blind Mr. C. Noeveel, has revealed at a press conference this afternoon, though uninvited, that Mitt will have his lips surgically fused so that he is incapable of speech. As a further measure, his head will be placed in a neck brace so he can neither nod nor shake his head in the affirmative.
A large pair of padded and shackled mittens will complete his outfit so that he will not be able to gesture.
This should allow the billions of dollars to be spent on advertisements to elect him handily.