Washington DC - In a desparate attempt to avoid banishment and deportation, Romney has switched his position once again. Rather than spouting "I stand by what I said what ever it was", he is saying "I reject what I said what ever it was."
Other statements flipped to the media this morning at the ousted hack's press "conference":
"The 47 percent is what I really care about. I love poor folk."
"I feel your pain. I even took an aspirin."
"Some of my best friends are black."
"We just want to give back to the working poor all the benefits they have lost these last 40 years."
"Republicans care about people, not money."
"People are people, not corporations are people."
"We keep our house spic and span. See, I use that word the right way."
"I'm running again? You bet."
"How come I didn't get any gifts?"
"I don't want your social security money and your house and your horse."