Written by Paul Blake
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Topics: fiscal cliff

Monday, 19 November 2012

image for Man Named Cliff Fiscal Goes Off the Deep End at DMV.
Cliff Fiscal (38) is detained by Police outside Ohio DMV.

Cleveland, OH - When you think you are having a bad day, be glad that you aren't one of those people who have a funny name, like Harry Balls or Suzy Blows.

Clifford "Cliff" Fiscal (38), who lives just outside Cleveland, was a person who didn't know he had a funny name. He'd never been picked on as a kid and up until recently, thought his name actually sounded pretty cool, like that of a baseball player or old jazz musician.

Then, out of nowhere, along came the government's financial debacle which has been splashed across the headlines of every newspaper and been the hot topic of all news pundit talk shows.

For two months now, Cliff Fiscal has endured a barrage of jokes from friends and co-workers. Mr. Fiscal, as you can imagine, can't wait for Washington to come to an agreement and make the whole thing go away.

But Mr. Fiscal, being a usually lighthearted fellow, tried hard to go along with all the good-natured ribbing, until it all came to an unfortunate blow up at the DMV last week.

"I was sitting there waiting to get a new picture taken and I could see the woman working behind the counter chuckling with her co-workers. They were having a good old time, pointing at me and really carrying on." Then, the woman yelled out; "Fiscal, Cliff" and the whole room erupted in laughter." That's when things got ugly.

Fiscal snapped and let his pent up frustration come rushing out all at once, letting the woman behind the counter and her co-workers know exactly how he felt.

"I just thought it was very unprofessional for government employees at the DMV to be making fun of someone's name like that infront of a room full of people!" Said Cliff, who went on a tirade.

Things got a lot worse for Fiscal, Cliff after that. The woman behind the counter became afraid for her safety and called the police, who promptly showed up and arrested Fiscal.

Now, the entire city of Cleveland knows his name and everyone is making fun of the poor guy.

"I wish I could tell everyone to go take a flying leap!" Said Fiscal. "But I can't, because I know what they'll say back to me."

In an ironic twist to the story, the arrest comes at a time when Fiscal, Cliff only had a hundred dollars in his bank account, sending him right off the … you guessed it …fiscal cliff. Sorry Cliff, we couldn't help ourselves.

Mr. Fiscal is to appear in court on Wednesday, where he plans to plead not guilty on charges of attempted assault and destruction of government property.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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