WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah "Snowflake" Palin has informed GOPicky Magazine that she is making plans to leave the country.
The former governor of Alaska, who quit in the middle of her term to concentrate on her reality TV show as well as participating in hunting moose, caribou, elk, and reindeer from state-owned helicopters, says she is devastated at the fact that "Old Mittens" Romney got his Boston butt kicked by President Obama.
The Tundra Troll told GOPicky's Tabita Tula Wishywater that she felt so strongly that Romney and Ryan were going to win that she actually took $7,000 out of daughter Willow's college fund and bet it on Romney winning.
When asked why in the world she would do that she said that she loved the 8 to 1 odds that Mitt and Admit (Paul Ryan) would win in a landslide victory.
The woman that Vice-President Joe Biden calls the Loose Moose says that Willow is so upset with her for gambling away $7,000 of her college money that she has not talked to her since the election and Willow is planning on moving to the Lower 48 and trying to join next year's cast of Dancing With The Stars.
"Snow Plow" Sarah revealed that husband Todd is also very angry at her and he is spending most of his time salmon fishing with his long time fishing guide the astoundingly attractive Nanicka Zapalicka.
Nine-year daughter Piper meanwhile reportedly told her teacher that her mom has the brains of a Milk Dud.
"Snowballs" Palin, a Tina Fey-lookalike allegedly, told one of her closest friends Delicitonya "Chubs" Chubatelli, 47, that she will probably be moving out of the United States.
When asked where she plans to go. Mrs. Palin replied, "Probably Hawaii."
When told that Hawaii is one of the United States she remarked that she would probably move to Russia instead since she can already see it from her upstairs bedroom window.