Philadelphia, PA-- An interesting new study at the University of Pencilvania confirms an old saying: girls who wear glasses never get passes. Research scientists followed 50 sophomore women at the university for two years. Not one of the young ladies received a single pass.
"It's a shame, because all of the girls were very cute." said research scientist Dr. Nathan Nutt. "It has to be the glasses they were wearing." he stated.
Dr. Nutt had the young women wear glasses all over their bodies for the study. Drinking glasses, looking glasses, magnifying glasses--almost any type of glass was glued to the students. The students were then told to take a class at the university for a pass or fail grade.
"They failed, of course." said one professor. "Why would I give a passing grade to some lunatic who comes to class wearing glasses all over herself??"