Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Doctors, apple, Phobia

Monday, 12 November 2012

image for New Study Finds An Apple A Day Really Does Keep The Doctor Away
How Doctors See Apples

Philadelphia, PA-- A surprising study of doctors has found that an apple a day really does keep the doctor away. The survey of over 1,000 doctors from all types of disciplines has discovered an intense phobia of all types of apples. Patients are now being advised to avoid any type of reference to apples in dealing with medical personnel.

The unusual study of doctors and apples was conducted over a five year period. Doctors were given apples to look at, touch, smell and then eat. Every single doctor reacted with intense anxiety and revulsion to the common fruit.

"It's called malusdomesticaphobia--the fear of apples." said psychiatrist Dr. Adam Macintosh. "People who are interested in studying medicine are almost the only ones who suffer from it. No one knows why. It's probably has something to do with how the brain is wired." he added.

Dr. Macintosh says he still suffers from malusdomesticaphobia, despite years of therapy.

"I still panic whenever I see one of those red things--I can't even say the word." said Dr. Macintosh. "All the doctors that I know of will literally run from the sight of them. If you want to keep a doctor away--just show him or her one of those red things. They will go away and never come back." promised the silly shrink.

Patients are now being warned to never mention the word 'apple' in any kind of interaction with anyone in the medical field.

"Sick people seldom have reason to mention the 'a' word to their doctors, but they need to be mindful." said Dr. Macintosh. "We are human too, and we do have our own phobias to deal with--please be understanding."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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