NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Constitutional scholar Sarah Palin railed against the American electorate Tuesday night saying "I can't believe people would ignore the US Constitution and elect a man who refuses to balance the budget." Palin was acting as an election night commentator on Fox News.
This morning, prior to jetting back to Alaska, Palin made an unscheduled stop to visit Donald Trump. The two invited reporters to come along on a field trip of sorts to visit an elementary school in the African-American stronghold of Harlem. Trump claimed the children graduating from this particular school were typical "black, underachievers who will never graduate high school and end up remaining on the dole."
Reporters followed the pair to Martin Luther King, Jr. Elementary School. Administrators refused to allow Palin to enter the school until she surrendered the five weapons she had stuffed into her various body orifices.
"We were quite surprised Sarah could conceal an entire AK-47 up her bum," said a British reporter, Martin Shuttlecock.
Once Palin was disarmed, the two proceeded to Mayella Barker's Fifth Grade class where 49 students were learning US History. The classroom was meant to hold 25-30 students, and the teacher had no desk.
"Look at this mess," Palin said to Trump. "These people breed like rats!"
"I'll bet ten of the girls are already pregnant," Trump said.
The teacher, Mayella Barker, 27, is a graduate of Brown University. She gave up a salary ten times higher than she receives in NYC to teach in this Charter School. Barker introduced the two to the children.
"Class, this is Donald Trump. He owns most of the houses where you live. This lady is Sarah Palin. She was the governor of Alaska, and also ran for Vice President of the United States in 2008.
"What are you teaching today," Trump asked.
"US History. We're finishing up our study of the US Constitution," said the teacher.
"I have a question, kind of a pop-quiz for the children," an excited Sarah Palin shouted out as the reporters video cameras rolled.
"Who knows where the Constitution says the President must balance the budget?"
The class looked at her, at their teacher, at each other, but said nothing.
"Come on, who knows," Palin asked again, obviously for the cameras.
A ten-year-old girl raised her hand.
"Do you know where the balanced budget is mentioned in the Constitution, little girl," asked Palin.
"No ma'am. I can't remember that being in the Constitution anywhere," the little girl said. "Will you show me where it is?"
The teacher said nothing. Trump said nothing. The reporters said nothing. Unfortunately for Palin, she is incapable of saying nothing.
"It's right there where it says the Congress does the balancing," Palin said.
"Sarah, maybe we should leave now," Trump said quietly as he attempted to steer her toward the door.
"We'll go just as soon as the little girl shows the reporters where it says that the President must balance the budget.
The little girl began to cry. She unfolded several large brown papers and handed them to Palin.
"This is what we were reading from. It's supposed to be the Constitution, but it doesn't say that, so it must be wrong, Miss Palin."
Palin spent the next half hour reading the document over and over. But she couldn't find anywhere in the document where it said a thing about a balanced budget either. She turned to Trump and the reporters.
"This is obviously a fake. Look here, it says on the bottom 'This is a Gift from the American Legion.' Sounds like a Godless Communist Group to me,'" she said.
"Anyway, I know it's fake because it doesn't mention 'Christian nation' either," Palin said as she was being hustled out the door.
I do not believe we will keep you informed regarding this incident.