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Tuesday, 6 November 2012

image for Tiger Woods' mistress to be hooker at Nevada brothel
A photograph of the writer and the mascot of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch

MOON LIGHT BUNNY RANCH, Nevada (ABSNN) - Dennis Hof, owner of a legal, Nevada brothel, told reporters today that Tiger Woods' porn-star mistress Number 8, Joslyn James, would work "for one week only," at his thriving Moon Light Bunny Ranch. Ms. James claims to be the mother of one of Tiger Wood's children.

"Now you can finally have a piece of Tiger's tail," said a smiling Hof.

Ms. James is represented by Gloria Allred, the so-called "Attorney to the broken hearted, newly rich, women of America." Allred represented the porn-star hooker during the 2010 divorce debacle Tiger Woods went through after his model-turned-wife, Elin Nordegren, beat his ass with a golf club down in Florida.

Woods had no comment, but Attorney Allred was ready (as always) with several comments:

"Leave us not forget I also represented poor, poor Amber Frey, the put-upon mistress of wife-killer Scott Peterson," said Allred.

"I'm just here to be certain that my client, a brand new prostitute, is not taken advantage of by the male Madame, Dennis Hof, who will make money off her body, the black guard, White Slaver," said James' attorney who we've already named too many times.

James told reporters she "wasn't at all worried about getting her piece of the action" for selling her piece of action, "because I've been making money off my piece of action for years and years. This hooking gig is just a lark for me."

According to Hof, "Joslyn will be in action from December 5th through the 12th. But if you want some of Joslyn James, you'd better book her action now, because we're nearly sold out already, thanks to Allred."

In an attempt to bring you all the pertinent news regarding Joslyn James' tenure at The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, this reporter has requested a $200,000 expense voucher from Mark Lowton, Editor-in-chief of thespoof.com.

I will keep you informed.

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