WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States has decided that it will not be asking the Republic of China for another loan.
Federal financial experts have stated that the United States already owes the Republic of China $1.15 billion.
They stated that if the U.S. borrows more money from China and defaults on the payment then China could legally request that the items of collateral be turned over to the Chinese government.
The Political Drive Thru Window News Agency has revealed that some of the items that the United States used as collateral include Disneyland in Anaheim, California; the Santa Monica Pier in Santa Monica, California; Mount Rushmore in Keystone, South Dakota; the Empire State Building in New York City; and Wrigley Field in Chicago.
President Obama has stated in no uncertain terms that he is not willing to take a chance of having all of those properties handed over to China.
He contacted the Australian government and asked about the possibility of securing a loan from them.
A spokesperson for the Aussie government stated that Australia cannot provide a monetary loan but that they will agree to FedEx to the U.S. 45 kangaroos, 95 koala bears, and 200 boomerangs.