Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Sunday, 4 November 2012

In a surprise announcement that even his staff was not aware of, Mitt Romney called a press conference this morning to make a dramatic proposal regarding the nation's defense.

Romney: "There is nothing in our government today that cannot be done better by the private sector or the states. This was proven in the 18TH and 19th centuries and can still be done today. The waste and fraud of the Washington bureaucracy can no longer be tolerated when, right now, we have militias in place in many states. They are ready, they are willing and all they need is ammo for their muskets."

A reporter from The New York Times called out: "You can't be serious! Is this a joke? What about a missile strike? Is this something that came from the neo-cons?"

Romney: "No, It did NOT come from the neo-cons. Actually, it was Rush's idea and Anne agreed. Besides, we have already made plans for the Old North Church and it will be manned 24/7 to alert the nation, One If by land,two if by sea. We will also mobilize those troops that are currently killing the Injuns in the West and bring them back to protect the Canadian border."

The Associated Press reports that Romney closed the press conference by donning a three cornered hat as a small ensemble played, "When Johnny comes marching home."

In related news, the AP reports that Governors of eleven southern states have announced that their militias are ready for the outcome of Tuesday's election whichever way it goes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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