NAUGATUCK, Connecticut - Mitt Romney flew to Naugatuck to visit one of his fellow multi-millionaire friends Simon P. Figgincow, 59.
Figgincow is the individual who is alleged to have told Romney not to show his income tax returns from 2007 to 2010.
Romney is continuing to refuse to show his returns and has stated that he does not have to and no one, not even Oprah Winfrey or Jon Stewart can make him.
When Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magazine asked him what in the world he was hiding the ex-governor of Massachusetts replied, "Not a damn thing sonny boy - not a damn thing."
Petaluma then asked why he refuses to show his returns and wondered if maybe perhaps it was because he may not have given as much to the Mormon Church as he is required by the church to give.
Romney went all Bill O'Reilly on him and started yelling and hollering like a crazed banshee. He picked up a "Vote 4 Romney" sign and told Petaluma that he is lucky he did not hit him with it.
Petaluma, who has a law degree from Harvard, informed Romney that if he hit him he would not have to worry about his income tax returns, or presidential polls, or even about Paul "Little Bunny Foo Foo" Ryan because he would find his caboose sitting in the Naugatuck jail.
Romney told the reporter that he has hired attorney Bobby Foonballoon of Biloxi, Mississippi, to be his legal council and he is not worried about anything.
Petaluma informed him that his lawyer is noted California attorney Gloria Allred and she would love nothing better than to have a go at old "Big Bird" Romney.
In Related News. Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Conan O'Brien, and Jimmy Fallon have said they are all voting for Obama. Meanwhile Chuck Norris, Nemo Pigwicket, Cyrus Mippyfish, Hildegard Puckfellow, and Chang Chung Ching, have said they are voting for Romney.