COLUMBIA, South Carolina (ABSNN) - In a televised statement, the former governor of this state, and an also-ran, Republican Presidential candidate, and evangelical preacher, Mike Huckabee, told voters today that if they voted for Obama they would go to hell:
"Your vote will affect the future and be recorded in eternity. Will you vote the values that will stand the test of fire? This is Mike Huckabee asking you to join me November 6th and vote based on values that will stand the test of fire."
"I just want to make the clearest possible statement to the voters of this nation that God has revealed to me He will send every Obama voter straight to hell to burn forever! Don't vote for Obama," said Huckabee.
thespoof.com's Religion reporter, Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J., was granted an exclusive interview with Governor Huckabee. The two discussed God and voting. Dubois asked Huckabee when, exactly, God
had revealed the message to him.
"Me and the boys were tuning up our guitars in the garage. We have a rock band, you know," said Huckabee.
"Right about the time we hit the bridge of Simon and Garfunkel's song 'Bridge over Troubled Water,' I started hearing this high-pitched whining in my headphones. I thought it was just feedback or something, but then I heard a still, small voice whispering in my ear. It was God; and God was pissed off," the governor told Dubois.
"What exactly did God say," asked Dubois.
"He said my guitar wasn't tuned well, and that everyone who voted for Obama would burn in hell," Huckabee said.
"Well, I'll be damned," Dubois whispered.
"You sure will be if you vote Obama," Huckabee promised.
We will keep you informed of any news regarding God's promises to Huckabee.