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Wednesday, 31 October 2012

image for Romney says Obama used Wiccans to cause Hurricane Sandy!
Wiccan priest may have caused hurricane to prevent Republicans from voting says Romney

STUBENVILLE, Ohio (ABSNN) - Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney responded to the devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy by passing out emergency relief supplies in this mid-sized Ohio city today. Romney praised 47% of the Americans who "went out to stores and purchased all of this caviar and artichoke hearts and brought them in for distribution to the storm survivors." Romney also said President Obama used magic spells to cause the storm.

Romney told reporters that "President Obama conspired with pagans and Wicca covens to cause this hurricane and devastation in order to prevent access to the polling places of rich Republicans who live in New York City, Atlantic City, New Jersey and costal New England beach front towns."

"Everyone knew Obama would pull something out of his hat to keep the other 53% of Americans from voting. But no one knew the depth of Obama's perfidy until Monday night," said Romney.

"And now, just look at our President," he said. "In two hours, Obama will make a triumphant tour of the ruined Republican beach front towns and will cackle and howl with glee because those poor people will not be able to cast their votes."

Reporters pointed out that all sitting Presidents make ground tours of disaster areas, with the exception of George W. Bush who only flew Air Force One over New Orleans and the Gulf Coast following Hurricane Katrina.

"Yeah, well, George W. Bush did not cause that disaster. Obama and the witches brought forth this storm," Romney answered.

Republican members of Congress, including Arizona's John McCain, who lost the 2008 election to Barack Obama, called for congressional inquiries into whether or not President Obama conspired with pagans and witches to cause the storm.

"You have to wonder," said McCain.

We will keep you informed; and theSpoof.com urges its readers to make donations to the American Red Cross, the Salvation Army or the Mennonite Disaster Services to aid the victims of this storm.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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