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Sunday, 28 October 2012

image for Nanny McPhee is loose in New York City
The much feared Nanny McPhee.

A woman, who recently escaped from the Central New York Psychiatric Center while being detained, is roaming the rich neighborhoods in the Upper West Side looking for a job as a nanny.

A New York City police officer reports that she is using the name Nanny McPhee to attain employment and she is armed and dangerous.

Police are asking for people in the public to call their local police departments if she is spotted. She's extremely ugly, she has no boyfriend, she has no husband, and she is always alone.

She has previously used the aliases Consuela Ortega and Nafissatou Diallo and on one occurance she told a previous employer she worked part time at the Sofitel and was a member of the hotel housekeeper's union which is run by the Mafia. The employer fired her after doing a background check which reveled she had lied.

She was previously arrested and charged for the killings of two house plants in her care at a couples home a year before. The husband observed her pouring hot, boiling water on the house plants as a form of sick entertainment. While employed by the couple, she used the fictitious name of Consuela Ortega to hide her true identity.

Before she killed the house plants, her female employer entered the bathroom and she caught Consuela stealing a role of toilet paper and a bar of soap by stuffing the property in a large handbag, police said Friday.

A different female employer reports that she caught her stealing tampons from a box that was stored underneath her bathroom sink. "We believe now that the nanny began to pour Listerine on herself as the woman entered the bathroom and caught the nanny stealing the much needed tampons," Police Commissioner Jay Goldberg told reporters in a revised account.

On Friday morning, Jasmarin Rothbarb was pushing a stroller near a wealthy apartment building in New York. She said she employs a nanny, but after hearing about the killing of those two house plants it has made her question whether to continue.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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