Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 27 October 2012

image for Mitt Romney Promises To Ban Sarah Palin From The Lower 48
Sarah "The Loose Moose" Palin and Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter are the two most hated women in America.

PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island - Mitt Romney was in Pawtucket at a meeting of The Smallest State in The Union Chapter of Undecided Voters.

He was greeted by two blue-haired elderly women, one dishwater blonde elderly woman, and a woman who was clearly wearing a wig that looked like something Gary Busey might wear.

Romney was asked what he intends to do about the constant foot-in-mouth remarks that keep spewing forth from the bitter reindeer lips of Sarah "Snowballs" Palin.

Old Mittens rolled his eyes, raised his eyebrows, shrugged his shoulders, and replied that as far as he is concerned "Pompous" Palin has caused enough of a mess with her rogue remarks.

He pointed out that the disparagingly dumb and dismal diatribes that she spits out of her mean-spirited mouth make her look like the Paris Hilton of Politics.

"Big Bird" Romney informed GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle that he promises the good, kind-hearted people of America that if he is elected, or even if he isn't that he will focus on doing something about getting the Loose Moose banned from ever setting foot in the Lower 48 states.

SIDENOTE: Romney said that he recently sat down and had a good long talk with Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, Chuck Norris, and Mrs. Romney and all four agree that Palin needs to be told to shut the eff up and get her useless caboose back to the Iceberg State.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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