Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 25 October 2012

image for Mitt Romney Tells Sarah Palin To Shut Her Alaskan Trap
A former undecided Ohio voter now a decided Ohio voter voting early.

CINCINNATI - Mitt Romney was in the city that is the home to the Cincinnati Reds and the Cincinnati Bengals.

The GOP presidential candidate was speaking before a crowd of undecided voters in the parking lot of an IHIPHOP Soul Food Restaurant.

The former governor of Massachusetts told the crowd that he loves eating hip hop food, rap food, soul food, and Aunt Jemima Pancakes.

The crowd casually cheered but kind of looked at each other in a quasi-puzzled manner.

An older gentleman who identified himself as Tyrone LeVonzell Clodhippin, 89, of Toledo, asked Romney what he thought about Sarah "Snowflake" Palin's 'shuck and jive' remark regarding President Obama.

The old Flip-Flopper shook his head, and actually got quite upset. He responded by saying. "Folks of Pennsylvania, let me say first of all that I cannot stand Sarah Palin. I never have."

He continued, "I don't trust a person who thinks that Hawaii is not a state, who thinks that Rhode Island is an island in the Caribbean, and who believes that Paul Revere rode a milk cow on his famous ride."

An aide whispered in Romney's ear. "I'm sorry folks." Romney said red-faced, "I do apologize. I have just been informed by one of my campaign fact checkers that we are in Ohio, and that Pennsylvania is one state over to my right, your left. Sorry for the oops moment."

Big Bird, as Ron Paul calls him, then said that getting back to skinny old "Snowballs" Palin, He revealed that he texted her last night and told her to shut her Alaskan trap and to quit trying to help him.

He pointed out that he told her that if she really wants to help him that she can get her butt back to her home in Wasilla, Alaska, park herself in the kitchen, and spend her day cooking and baking stuff for her family.

In Sports News. Kobe Bryant is denying the fact that the injury to his right foot was caused from a bite he received when he called his wife Vanessa the B word.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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