PEANUTVILLE, New York (ABSNN) - Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus and Pigpen, four ageless elementary school students at Peanutville Basic School, were hauled off to jail today on a "bullying" warrant sworn out by internet blogger Buz Bishop, AKA "Dad Camp." A seven-year-old girl, Lucy, was tasered "due to her kicking and biting the police officers who served the arrest warrant. " Bail was denied the foursome, and thus far no attorney has come forward to represent the children.
"In this day and age where bullying can result in child suicides, the kids in this Peanuts Gang are a public threat, more than a nuisance," said Bishop.
Mr. Bishop's complaint further charged "unceasing harassment of other children," and included "several other unnamed associates of the infamous Peanut's Gang, including a 'rabid beagle known as Snoopy.'"
Animal control officers claimed to have "had the dog cornered in a corn field, but he gave us the slip and escaped, flying away in a vintage British World War I fighter plane."
"The dog, Snoopy, is a real threat in the skies," said one fighter pilot.
"He shot down the Bloody Red Baron, you know."
The New York Air National Guard scrambled six flights of jets to intercept and shoot down the Spad fighter.
TheSpoof.com will keep you informed of all new developments in this story.