Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 24 October 2012

image for Sarah Palin Turning Into A Stick Woman
Sarah hunting moose from a state-owned helicopter. (Photo by Katie Couric).

WASILLA, Alaska - News reports coming out of the Iceberg State, report that Todd Palin has confided in his salmon fishing guide that he is very worried about his wife Sarah.

Mr. Palin told Miss Nanicka Zapalicka that just in the past month the old Moose Mama, as he affectionately calls Sarah, has lost an awful lot of weight.

Todd pointed out that she is down to 94 pounds, which makes her officially 21 pounds underweight according to The Solid State University Female Weight Figuring Method, which states that the ideal weight for a woman who stands 5-feet-0-inches tall is 100 and then add 5 pounds for each inch over 5 feet.

According to Tilapia Frisbee who recently interviewed Sarah Palin for The Right Coast Illustrated Revue Magazine, the Tundra Troll is beginning to take on the appearance of a stick woman.

Miss Frisbee divulged that 48-year-old "Snowflake" Palin is looking horrendously thin and now has a turkey neck, flamingo legs, and kangaroo ears.

She went on to say that she also has hipless hips which if she is wearing a dress cause her underwear to end up down around her ankles.

Frisbee quipped that the Palinista is starting to look like a female version of Matthew "Skinny Dude" McConaughey.

When Miss Frisbee asked Todd why his wife is losing so much weight he replied that it all started when she was snubbed by the Republican National Convention and told that they did not want her to make a speech.

It got worse when Sarah found out that she was not even invited to attend the biggest Republican shindig of the year and instructed not to get within 400 miles of Tampa, Florida.

And then on top of that she learned from her gynecologist that her ovaries were inverted so if she got pregnant the baby would most likely be born upside down.

Todd then explained that the corker was when their extremely talented daughter Bristol "The Baby Moose" Palin was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars.

SIDENOTE: The Palin's 17-year-old daughter Willow has told her mom that if she keeps on losing weight she is going to be able to wear 11-year-old Piper's hand-me-downs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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