BROWN UNIVERSITY, Rhode Island (ABSNN) - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama was thought to have told students who did not share his message of love and universal peace to "fuck off" or "fuck it," according to the closed-caption banner running beneath his video. However, most students did not hear the holy man say "fuck" at all.
Presidential candidate Mitt Romney appealed to the Rhode Island Governor, "There is no controversy, he said 'fuck it!' You need to throw that cross-dressing slant-eyes out of the state for speaking nasty to those poor girls!"
In point of fact, no Brown University student heard the Dalai Lama use a swear word. It is thought the transcriber mistyped 'fuck it' for 'forget it.'"
"He said 'forget it,' not fuck it," said May West, 20, a sophomore.
"I think he would have gotten a far more gratifying response if he had said 'fuck it,' though," the sophomore told reporters.